


scared to lose you

by lockwoodstie (PilotInTheStars)



Category: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud
Genre: Brief Hospital Setting, Case Gone Wrong, F/M, Fear of loss, Gen, Ghost touch, Hurt and comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25926367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PilotInTheStars/pseuds/lockwoodstie
Summary: Lucy gets ghost touched on a case and Lockwood deals with his fears.
Relationships: Lucy Carlyle/Anthony Lockwood
Comments: 18
Kudos: 49





	scared to lose you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dumbledoreslingerie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbledoreslingerie/gifts).



> dammmmmn mads, back at it again with the lockwood fic. 
> 
> This was written as a gift for the Summer Gift Exchange and is a gift for Dummy! I love you and I hope you enjoy! <3 
> 
> It's been a little while since I've written Lockwood fic, I will be returning to writing more someday, but right now I've just been taking a little break. I thank you for your patience! 
> 
> Trigger warning for a hospital setting at the beginning of a fic, and an injury, as someone is ghost touched.

Lucy had been ghost touched. 

Being back in the hospital… it was like George after the attack all over again. That had been a year ago, right before their kerfuffle with Fittes, before a bomb had forever ruined both the Fittes house and the glorious name of Fittes herself. An agent always had to be cautious, careful, but it would be a lie if Lockwood and Co. occasionally thought themselves to be invincible. 

Lockwood now knew, that was far from the truth. 

He felt numb, like the ghost touch Lucy had just gone through. It had been three years since he had been ghost touched in the Hope’s home, yet he couldn’t really forget. 

_ If he closed his eyes, he could still see Jessica, lying on the floor of her room, blue and swollen, cold and dead-  _

A nurse came up to him. 

“Anthony Lockwood?”

Lockwood nodded. 

“Ms. Carlyle seems to be doing much better than previously. We administered the shot before it could spread much farther, and she says she feels better than she did. She’s asleep now.” 

A powerful feeling of relief came over him. 

_ Not like Jessica. Not like that at all- alive, alive, alive.  _

But the feeling of terror wasn’t quite going away. 

The nurse led him to Luce’s bedside, telling him she’d likely be home by tomorrow, that it would take some time for her whole hand to heal, but she’d be back to normal in about a week. 

_ Back to Lucy.  _

She was pale, her short brown hair splayed against the pillow. Her face was peaceful, though tired. 

It was a miracle that Holly had turned into the room at the right time, and saw the ghost stalking behind Lucy. 

_ He could still hear her scream of pain as the ectoplasm had hit her hand, Holly’s mad dashing to get to the Source, George running to get to the telephone. It was every agent’s worst nightmare come to life.  _

Lockwood shook it from his head, and took the seat by Lucy’s bedside. The hand that had been ghost touched had been carefully bandaged- but some blue skin still peeked out on her upper forearm, near her elbow. 

He winced quietly, remembering the pain from being ghost touched three years ago. 

The nurse said something about giving them a moment, and quietly left the room. He wasn’t quite sure what to say, though it seemed sort of ridiculous, considering she was asleep. Maybe just being there was enough. 

Lockwood laid his head on the bed, next to Lucy’s hand, eventually drifting into sleep. 

* * *

They left the hospital the day after, once Lucy had been cleared, the doctors sure of a quick recovery. 

“I do feel better,” Lucy said again and again, even as they truly left the building and went home. 

Her arm was still bandaged up to her elbow, slightly, only marginally better than before. But he didn’t bother asking again, knowing that she would deny any pain that she currently felt in her arm.

Holly and George had called from Portland Row and Lucy had held the phone in her good hand and had told them what she had told Lockwood. 

When Lockwood had picked up the conversation, he could hear the relief in all of their voices.

_ Relief that she wasn’t dead, because the universe knew they couldn’t bear to lose anyone else.  _

Lucy and Lockwood walked through the door of 35 Portland Row to find George and Holly presenting a chocolate cake on the table, on top of the fresh thinking cloth they had just replaced the old one with the day before Lucy had been ghost touched.

Lockwood couldn’t bring himself to eat at the moment, not when he was still uneasy with what had happened. It still felt like a bad dream, one he could wake up from. But he had pinched himself repeatedly, and he knew it wasn’t a bad dream at all. 

_ Lucy had almost died. Lucy, who he loved dearly. And any of his friends could have died in that house.  _ It was a risk! It was always a risk, being an agent. He, and they, had been at this for a long time. 

And yet he couldn’t help but feel like it was his own fault. 

* * *

Lucy had crawled into Lockwood’s bed that night and he wasn’t to complain at all. He had thought she might want space, to be alone in her own room, and he was somewhat surprised when she knocked on the door. 

It was common, for Lucy to show up in the middle of the night, and for them to continue sleeping in each other’s arms. He just… hadn’t been expecting it now. 

Lucy crawled onto her side of the bed, her bandages peeking out through her nightie, her arm still clutched close to her chest. Lockwood put his arm around her. 

“Can you not sleep?”

“Sometimes I just can’t.” Lucy gave a half-shrug, the best she could do while lying down. “It’s alright.” She scooched closer to him and kissed him softly. 

“How does your arm feel?”

Lucy winced. 

“It’s getting better.” She smiled at him. “I’m okay.” 

Lockwood nodded and Lucy yawned, closing her eyes and nestling further into the pillows. He brushed the hair out of her eyes, tucking the strands behind her ears, and then closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep too.

* * *

They had situated themselves in the library, Lucy nursing a mug of tea in her undamaged hand, balancing it on the knee she had drawn up to her chest. Her sketchbook sat off to the side, while they sat at opposite ends of the couch. 

They hadn’t spoken much all morning, the two of them quiet, going through their own thoughts, until Lucy said: 

“Lockwood: I know something’s wrong.”

His dark eyes met hers. 

“I’m terrified of losing you, Luce.” 

She moved closer to him on the couch. “You didn’t. I’m here, I’m fine.” 

The silence in the room was palpable. 

“Luce, when you were lying there, after being ghost touched, all I could see was Jess. I don’t want to lose anyone else.” 

Lucy nodded, understanding drifting between them. 

“I’m okay. We’ll both be okay.” 

Lucy moved closer to Lockwood and looked at him. “I promise.” She was still holding her hurt arm close to her chest, but she bridged the gap between him, pressing her lips against his and kissing him softly. His hands traced up her upper arms to her shoulders and he pulled her body close to his. 

Lockwood let go and saw Lucy with tears in her eyes. 

“Luce-”

“I’m okay. I’m alright.”

She reached up and wiped her eyes with the sweater sleeve on the arm of her good hand. 

Lucy settled herself onto Lockwood’s lap, tucking her head under his chin, and he wrapped his arms around her. A solid reminder of:

_ I’m here, I’m here, I’m here… You’re not losing me too.  _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
